Damn. I am sent to SISPEC. For those who don't know what SISPEC is, it stands for: Suffer In Silence Plus Extra Confinement. Worse still, I am sent to an Infantry course. Infantry is the last place I want to be in. It is boring and exhausting. Everything is by the feet, and I don't see why a person like me with a thin build, should be in Infantry. Not as if my legs are strong.

So I'm gonna be a 3rd Sergeant if I complete it successfully. What a disappointment, when I wanted to go OCS. Now, not only am I not able to go OCS, my application for Pilot vocation is also terminated. It appears to me that MINDEF has no consideration for such personal interests and the fact that I am tall enough and with perfect eyesight, did no help for me in becoming a pilot.

In other words, MINDEF somewhat smashed my dreams and aspirations. Fucked up.
As the song goes, "Oh mama can't you see, army is not the place for me..."

Sadly, MINDEF prefers scholars. People with good grades to enter OCS. Unfortunately, not of all these people possess the right attitude, the physical fitness and most importantly, leadership potential. But MINDEF seems to equate grades with leaders. So be it. I mustn't be the one who can't have the grapes, and claim the grapes are sour. Perhaps one day, grades become the primary factor while loyalty to country is secondary.

Anyway I have not been reading much newspapers. But recently I know our Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew urged parents to speak mandarin at home, so that more children will be proficient in mandarin. The MM also mentioned that dialects should be dropped, since it will divert children's attention on mandarin, and dialects only allows communication within the community.
Well actually there are 2 parts to this. I applaud MM's call for mandarin to be spoken at home. At least mandarin won't be dropped entirely. He should have said this long ago though. But I wonder how many parents today can speak fluent mandarin so they become proper mandarin tutors.

As for dialects, I have a different stand from the MM. I'm not very fluent with Hokkien or Cantonese. But picking up a dialect might give support or assist in learning mandarin, or perhaps vice versa. If we want Singapore to have a strong society, built upon strong bonds within families, how then do you expect grandparents to speak to their grandchildren without the use of dialects? Of course not all grandparents can only speak dialects and nothing else. However I believe majority of grandparents or the elderly know only dialects or mandarin. Even today, I feel guilty for not being able to understand my grandmother fully, because she speaks only Hokkien, and I need my mother as a translator. Plus if Singapore is heading towards an ageing population, we will definitely need more caregivers, and more attention will be spent on the elderly. How then do we expect ourselves to communicate with the elderly without dialects? How then do we understand their needs? It will still be a long time before the elderly becomes proficient with at least English. Because that will be the time when your parents turn old.

As you might know, I have not travelled on the public transport for quite a while. So lately, I've been using the MRT like before. And I can't help to notice how, some foreigners, sadly Chinese nationals make up the bulk, seem to lack some travel-etiquette. And definitely some selfish Singaporeans have the same fault. They just seem to be oblivious to signages and yellow lines drawn on the floor. I mean, with all due respect, they have common sense don't they? Did the fact that there are yellow lines with arrows drawn at the doors, ever crossed their minds? And why do most people stand behind the yellow line, while they love to stand right in front of the door? Won't they find themselves, a little unique? Then of course, you can expect what happens when the doors open. They walk right through the crowd that is coming out. I'm of course disappointed that Singaporeans, being educated will display such behaviours. As for the foreigners, I do hope that they learn. If they truly wish to integrate into this society, there are norms and proper etiquette to abide by.
Yes, it takes 2 hands to clap. For foreigners to integrate into our society, the locals must be willing to accept them, and the foreigners themselves must make necessary changes. While I have no qualms over accepting foreigners, I find that they are not making sufficient changes. Maybe in their country, it's perfectly ok to squeeze your way through train crowds, but here in Singapore, can they please open their eyes to notice that things are different here?

G.Y.

I haven't posted anything for quite some time. Reason is I'm slacking all day and night. I didn't have the mood to type and post. Haha since this is the block leave and I want to make full use of it, I intend to do nothing, just rest and recover.

Actually, I did do some stuff. Like I went for the open houses of NUS and NTU. I'm not sure which university appeals to me more. But I shall leave that to a later time, since there is no guarantee I will be accepted.

I also went to the IT Show. Nothing fanciful there. I wasn't looking for computers or laptops, so I skipped them all. I went straight for cameras instead. The show was huge, really large. So large that Mitsubishi decided to bring in refrigerators to the show. Makes no sense at all. They were showcasing some high-tech, state-of-the-art refrigerators huh?

Unfortunately at the Nikon booth, there was this salesman who couldn't resist showing off his knowledge. And he didn't like the idea of me holding a D700 for more than 30mins. So he spoke to me in a demeaning tone, like I was a complete idiot.

Me: Question to salesman - Why D300 can have 12.3 megapixels and D700, being a better camera, has only 12.1megapixels?
Salesman: D700 is full-frame. You know what is full-frame or not?
Me: Yes. A 36mm by 24mm sensor
Salesman: Ah, so how will the picture be?
Me: Maybe better
Salesman: MAYBE only ah?? You go back read your book first.

And so I walked off. The reason I said: Maybe was because you can't be sure of everything. It's quite apparent that salesman did not take GP, that being too absolute is not always a good thing. To a large extent, I know, D700 full frame gives many advantages over cropped sensor cameras. However, it is impossible for a D700 to triumph over cropped sensor cameras on every single aspect. And salesmen tend to use such absolute stands, in order to woo customers.
I'm not showing off my GP is good. I did not get an A for GP, in fact I got a C. But this is somewhat simple logic. Frankly, my mood was good that day, or else I would have replied the salesman with : Fuck you, understand?

I didn't take many pictures recently, partly due to the poor weather. And now I'm considering on whether to purchase a new lens. I'm proud to say I have not spent a single cent from my NS allowance. LOL.

G.Y.

My results are screwed up. They suck so much that it is very difficult for me to come to terms with it.
I've got ABBCC.
Too few As and too many Cs. It has happened during O levels and now it has happened again - my results have disappointed me and I feel shortchanged because of the effort I have put in.

Sad to say many slackers scored better than me. Nevertheless these are my scores and this is reality but definitely not a reflection of my true capabilities. Damn.

Like most other people, I'm considering on which course to take. The difference is, I'm not spoilt for choice like others. My choice is actually quite limited, perhaps due to my interests being too specific.

Anyway, I shan't dwell on that. A-level is over and done with and I understand that my results are that bad if I compare with some other people. But heck, why compare with poorer scores to console yourself?

BMT is coming to an end. To be precise, 3 more days to Graduation Parade. And from then on, I will be a Private, no more a Recruit. So life now is much more relaxed and it's time to say goodbye to commanders whom I dislike. Great! But of course there is no guarantee that I will meet better commanders in my next phase of training. Also, I will be parting with friends that I have known for 9weeks. There is no guarantee I will be in company of good friends once I leave P.Tekong.

I believe humans are instinctively resistant to change. What for change when you're comfortable with life? But I have no control over this change and I can only hope the change is a pleasant one.

G.Y.

"Bobo shooter" and "bobo thrower" are the keyphrases of the week.

Actually I heard I'm not supposed to share military secrets or anything I've done in camp, to outsiders. That means speaking, writing or posting online is not allowed. As such, I went home this weekend with nothing to say to my parents.

But heck, perhaps I misintepreted the rule. Anyway I had Guard duty for Sunday. Guard duty is actually a regimental duty, but for my case, I lost a small brush, so the duty was given to me as a punishment. Damn it. The brush can be bought outside. Anyway upon completion of the duty, one may apply for a vocation in Guards unit. Lol. No I was kidding, Guard duty is quite crappy. I worked for 2 hours and was given 4hours rest. This is 1 cycle that has to be repeated 4 times throughout the 24hours duty. I was a prowler which means I walked around the camp for 2 hours. At least being a prowler keeps me awake as compared to sentries who will stand at their position for 2 hours. Suay ah...

Anyway after I have finished my 24hours, I didn't get much rest, and was sent to the live range for live firing test. This is a very bad combination because you can't afford to lose concentration while shooting. Given that I was tired, sleep is what I needed most. So it was quite tough to keep myself alert. In any case, live firing is freaking shiok. Finally I get to shoot the SAR21 with live bullets. If I'm not wrong, my score is 28/32. Good enough to be a marksman =) but the score is not confirmed. Initially I was afraid of misfires. 1 misfire and you can be charged and subsequently sent to detention barracks. But thankfully, there are sufficient safety measures to ensure you do not misfire, that is if you follow the safety measures carefully.

Then the rest of the week was quite crappy. After live firing, of course there will be a major clean-up of the rifle. Therefore, hours will be spent scrubbing parts of the rifle, so things that were in black will turn silver. On Thursday and Friday, I had to swim and crawl in wet mud. Then Saturday was the day for throwing a live grenade. This is usually done once in a lifetime. So better treasure the experience.
And for the first time, the commander begs his recruits to treasure life, and for goodness sake, please throw the grenade properly. No one wants to die. In other words, a recruit has the power to determine the fate of himself and his commander. It is a nice feeling, really.

I have more or less said the stuffs that I did in the week. It is somewhat exciting, definitely less physically demanding. 7 weeks have gone. I'm left with 2 weeks worth of BMT. I'll soon be leaving Pulau Tekong. And frankly, Tekong isn't a hellish place, although the treatment of recruits can sometimes be harsh. Still, being recruits have certain advantages. For example, punishments tend to be less severe, and recruits have less responsibilities. But of course, Tekong isn't a holiday resort.

G.Y.